Thursday, 9 March 2017

Healing from a distance, false hopes and scams

Talking to a friend recently, I was shocked to hear she’d been diagnosed with an incurable condition. “But there’s a glimmer of hope,” she said – a hope offered by a South American who claims to heal people from a distance.

“Well, actually, it’s not him who does the healing. He’s surrounded by Entities who diagnose your problem and tell him what will cure it.”

“Entities?” I replied. “What are these entities?” I already had a fair idea but hoped I was mistaken.

“Spirits, you know? People who have passed over to another dimension….”

“People who have died you mean?”*

“Yes,” she said, “and now they want to help others. Apparently there’s been some incredible results - nothing short of miraculous! – and all you have to do is send a photograph.”

“Oh please, please, don’t go there!” I exclaimed. Far be it from me to dash somebody’s hopes, but I just blurted it out. And I could speak with some authority, having once been involved with spiritism myself.  As gently as I could, I explained the dangers involved and promised to check out this ‘healer’ as soon as I got home.

Up popped the website with the usual flummery – the so-called successes and recommendations, celebrity plaudits and masses of feel-good bilge – promising much for minimal effort. Just send a photograph and not only could you be healed but live a longer, healthier and happier life. Oh, there IS a disclaimer, in line with advertising standards, but, short of immortality, this man offers the works.

By gazing at your photograph and communing with the ‘entities’, he claims to know exactly what is needed for each individual – a pack of herbs specifically tailored to their condition for just £56, plus postage and packing, no doubt.

Another friend of mine, who suffers from fibromyalgia, had a nasty experience with a similar website….although this particular ‘amazing cure’ was a natural one – 100% free from spiritual additives.  The product, which cost £70, was paid for by card and promptly delivered. However, the following month she was shocked to see a further £70 had been taken from her bank account, while another (unordered) package arrived. What she thought was a one-off transaction turned out to be monthly payments which were virtually impossible to stop, as the website had no cancellation provision. In the end, it took time and effort to settle the matter through her bank.

Such scams are common nowadays, and it’s sad when they dupe desperate people with serious illnesses. But when they claim to work miracles through supernatural means, then they are robbing their victims of something very precious indeed. The truth.*


See also:

Thursday, 9 February 2017

Why I'd NEVER date a superstar!

       Sorry Leonardo, nothing personal, but even if you begged me on your bended knees, I’d still avoid you like the plague. The same goes for you Brad. And you, Christian. And as for you, Johnny and Denzel, don’t even GO there!
       Think of the handsomest, most charismatic hunks in the Universe and they’ll all be on my blacklist! Because I suffer from one of life’s most distressing, emotionally debilitating conditions; one which, though suffered by countless millions, few will admit to and which, far from gaining sympathy, arouses scorn and derision - if not downright hostility.
       If you haven’t already guessed what this condition is, just listen to a comment by the second wisest man who ever lived, a man who, with 1000 wives and concubines, obviously knew a thing or two about relationships: “There is the cruelty of rage, also the flood of anger, but who can stand before jealousy?” – King Solomon
       Yes, I’m talking about the last taboo, the green-eyed monster that squats in the corner of our minds waiting to devour us, clawing at the heartstrings crazed and feral; that fiend, that emotional sadist - Jealousy.

Positive or Negative?

       Believe it or not, jealousy can be a good thing. The Hebrew word gin-‘ah’ has several meanings, such as “insistence on excusive devotion; toleration of no rivalry; zeal, ardour.” In Greek, similar meanings are evoked by the word ze’los. Such ‘righteous jealousy’ exists in God himself - not in an envious, selfish way, but out of a loving desire to protect his people.
       In the same way, a committed couple may quite rightly be jealous – not of but for each other. Being zealous for the well-being of their mate and any children, they are naturally alert to anything that could threaten their family’s security.
       Negative jealousy, on the other hand, can be highly destructive, often leading to broken relationships and even violence. This kind of possessiveness involves a lack of trust - usually without cause - and is misplaced and unloving.

Why do we suffer from it?

       Today’s throwaway attitudes don’t help. Promiscuity, infidelity and the unwillingness to work at relationships have all played their part in downplaying the benefits of a strongly committed union in favour of the quick thrill, the ego trip, the too-many pints of lager.
       Matt*, a very handsome (and strictly platonic) male friend of mine recently broke up with a girl with whom he was really smitten – purely due to her jealousy. Not that he ever gave her cause. The problem was that, being a likeable person who’s extremely good at his trade, he attracts a lot of customers, including women - something his ex just couldn’t handle.
       This had nothing to do with Matt and everything to do with her own insecurity, her inability to value herself as he did. And this, to my mind, is the key. A secure person will rarely downgrade themselves. A secure person may look like Quosimodo or his aunt yet still regard themselves as worthwhile, people deserving of love, lust and enduring affection.
       In contrast, the most gorgeous creature on the planet may see even the plainest people as a threat. Elaine* is a genuine beauty but hates watching television with her boyfriend because she can’t bear him looking at her imagined on-screen ‘rivals’. “Even when a girl is only moderately attractive, I’m afraid he’ll fancy her instead of me,” she confided before adding (quite unthinkingly, I’m sure) “I’d like you to meet him one day.” Perhaps it’s my trustworthy face!

How to avoid it

       Sadly, many people are so entrenched in their own sense of worthlessness, they may never be entirely free of jealousy. Parents can, however, help their own children to avoid it, simply by demonstrating love, commendation and approval right from the second a baby is born.  
       I emphasis the word demonstrating because so many parents of my mother’s generation failed to do this, believing that feeding, clothing and  generally providing for a child was surely proof enough. Not so. Children don’t read the family’s accounts ledger.
       Erica* looks back on her childhood with sadness: “As a mature person, I now realise my parents did love me, but hugs, kisses and affectionate words were in very short supply – no doubt because child-care experts of the day viewed such behaviour as ‘spoiling’. But how else can a child know they’re cherished and special?” Although happily married, Erica still feels inadequate in virtually all aspects of her life, comparing herself unfavourably with everyone she meets.
       It’s actually possible to identify a person who’s been brought up in a secure loving environment. He or she is often warm and approachable and have an easy confidence with everyone they meet – no matter how good-looking or accomplished. Such people don’t need to compare themselves with others – they know they’re valued by those nearest to them - and that’s the greatest gift any parent can bestow.
      As for the rest of us, well.....we’ll get by. But Leo, don’t expect a phone call any time soon!

*Not real names.


Wednesday, 7 December 2016

Can ageing be reversed? Why DO we grow old and die?

Trees outlive humans by hundreds of years 

Currently, ageing is a remorseless, unrelenting and inevitable process from which nobody seems able to escape. Yet finding a cure for this condition, maybe even for death itself, has been the ultimate goal for humans since time began. 

In ancient China, for example, Taoist priests led
 people to neglect their labour to search for “the elixir of life” or “fountain of youth”. Alchemists in medieval Europe and Arabia used noxious ingredients such as arsenic, sulphur and mercury to create their supposed life-preserving potions - though how long anyone actually lived after taking them is anybody’s guess! 

One African legend is that God send a chameleon to deliver immortality to mankind, but it moved so slowly that another lizard got there first and persuaded people to accept a message of death instead.

As far back as the 4th century BCE, the Greek philosopher Aristotle attempted to explain just why we die, concluding that life hinged on the human body’s ability to balance heat and cold, observing: “It is always to some lack of heat that death is due.” Another philosopher, Plato, taught that man has an immortal soul that survives the death of the body.

Today, little has changed and it isn’t just women who yearn to turn back the clock, nor is it just the rich who pay handsomely to have their bodies frozen via cyronics, hoping for a revival once a cure for their terminal condition has been discovered. Every day, dubious and sometimes highly unethical therapies are being lined up as the only way to achieve that everlastingly flawless complexion and perfectly toned muscles. One stomach-churning report by a national newspaper exposed the use of desiccated foetuses in tablet form which are thought to preserve youth.

Are ageing and death natural?

For many people, the idea of living forever seems too far-fetched, even absurd. But is it? If we were only meant to live for just three score years and ten (or longer if we have exceptional genes), why do we fear death so much? Why do people undergo painful and unpleasant treatment to defeat life-threatening disease, or grieve so much when a loved one dies? And, if old age is as natural as we’re led to believe, why do so many invest heavily in creams, fillers, and cosmetic surgery to hold back the years? 

"He has even put eternity into their heart" - Ecclesiates 3:11

This may come as a shock to many, but the truth is humans were originally designed, not only to live indefinitely, but to stay young and beautiful. The first three chapters of Genesis explain how Adam and Eve were created perfect but lost their prospect of everlasting youth when they rebelled against God's sovereignty. The result? Imperfection, ageing and eventual death. (Romans 5:12) Even so, having once been perfect, it took the couple a lot longer to age than it does for us today; in the years leading up the the flood of Noah's day, humans could live for hundreds of years, although life spans became much shorter after the heavenly ocean was let loose and no longer protected the earth.*

The sad fact is, even a tree can last ten times longer than we do - which seems an awful waste of our incredible brains, described by molecular biologist James Watson as “the most complex thing we have yet discovered in our universe.” Just as we learn how to use it, we're too old to care!

Superficially, looks matter too. One photographer who specialises in cosmetics and skin care products believes a model is over the hill at 17, as, by then, the complexion has lost its dewy glow!!

But were we actually meant to grow old? At one time, gerontologists believed human bodies were programmed - to grow, to reach their peak and then to rapidly decline into old age and, eventually, death. Yet some experts into ageing have now modified that view, largely due to the miraculous way the human body functions. 

Biologist Jared Diamond, for example, noted how we “replace the cells lining our intestine once every few days, those lining the urinary bladder once every two months, and our red blood cells once every four months,” adding: “Nature is taking us apart and putting us back together every day.” 

This means that our physical bodies don’t really age at all but, according to one scientist: “In a year, approximately 98% of the atoms in us now will be replaced by other atoms that we take in through our air, food and drink.” 

And, as other experts admit they don’t know why ageing should occur, we have to wonder whether we really should live forever. In his book, Conquest of Death, Alvin Silverstein wrote of his desire to “unravel the essence of life” and to understand how a person ages.” He was convinced that one day there will be no more old people, “for the knowledge that will permit the conquest of death will also bring eternal youth.” 

"Then God says, 'Spare him from going down into the pit! I have found a ransom! 
Let his flesh become fresher than in youth; 
Let him return to the days of his youthful vigor'" - Job 33:24,25 (NWT)

Recent scientific findings:

The Telomere and the Flatworm

Forget the Botox, cancel your facelift – according to researchers at Nottingham University, the Fountain of Youth may lie with the humble flatworm.

From just one member of this innocuous species, a team led by Molecular Biologist Dr Aziz Aboobaker have created over 20,000 worms which, when divided, simply grow back again - i.e. the head bit grows another tail while the tail portion grows a replacement head, producing two worms for the price of one. And the more they are cut up, the more parts there are to regenerate into complete new worms, each identical to the first, with bodies and organs that never seem to deteriorate.

As a result of his research, Molecular Biologist Dr Aziz Aboobaker believes flatworms are immortal thanks to telomeres which keep their cells dividing and renewing perpetually, unlike humans.

Telomerase research has now become one of the hottest fields in molecular biology, boosted by results from Dr Aboobaker’s recent study.  

Every cell contains a nucleus, a complex control centre, providing instructions for all the cell’s activities. This set code is stored in the chromosomes, a mix of protein and deoxyribonucleic acid, now commonly known as DNA. Although discovered in the 1860’s, DNA’s molecular structure was not fully understood until a century later when biologists began to realise its primary role – to convey genetic information.

At the tip of each chromosome is a short snippet of DNA called a telomere - from the Greek te’los (end) and me’ros (part).  Acting as a protective shield, rather like the plastic cap at the end of a shoelace, the telomere helps to stabilise the chromosome, preventing it from fraying, breaking or sticking. Unfortunately, most telomeres shrink grow shorter with each cell division until they wear away to mere stumps and no longer prove effective. Without the telomere’s protection, the cell stops dividing and begins to die due to the Hayflick Limit, a process discovered by Dr Leonard Hayflick in the 1960’s whereby cells appear to have a finite number of divisions – around 50 during its life span.  

Because of this phenomenon, human cells eventually shrink with age, resulting in our inevitable decay. Not so with flatworms. Their telomeres remain exactly the same, so cells keep on dividing at the same rate. As a result, Dr Aboobaker and colleague Dr Thomas Tan claim to have already isolated the ‘immortality’ gene and feel confident that it may one day help scientists to grow new organs and develop treatments to keep old age at bay. The implication is that if biologists could use telomerase to stop telomeres shortening during normal cell division, perhaps ageing could be halted or at least delayed. According to Geron Corporation News experiments with telomerase have already shown that normal human cells can be modified with “an infinite replicative capacity.”

Tuesday, 15 November 2016

In this 'Post-Truth' world, how honest are you?

So 'Post-Truth' has been coined by Oxford Dictionaries, a term that pretty well sums up the world today.

How appropriate. And how very, very sad. 

When politicians, banks, newspaper chiefs, big businesses and even religious leaders can’t be trusted what chance is there for the rest of us? And, in the face of what must surely be the most corrupt, exploitative, money-obsessed period in human history, is honesty still the best policy? Is it actually possible to be 100% above board living in this woefully corrupt system?
On a personal level we all like to think we’re basically honest and truthful – but to what extent? Do we always fill in our tax details accurately, or do we ‘accidentally’ forget to include the occasional cash payment or perk. If we find a purse on the street, do we attempt to return it, or is it a case of ‘finders keepers’?
What often makes it hard to be honest is pressure from others.  One factory worker, for example, became extremely unpopular with his colleagues as, unlike them, he refused to take things easy when the manager wasn’t around.  Believing in the old adage, ‘a fair day’s work for a fair day’s pay’,  he was determined to keep his side of the bargain and kept on working despite recriminations from his less industrious peers.
Equally honest was the financial director of a large corporation, a God-fearing man who could spot anomalies on an expense sheet from 50 metres away. So, naturally, after lunching with prospective clients at a star-rated restaurant, he was the obvious person to scrutinise the bill. One sweep of his eagle eye was all it took for him to see the mistake – the omission of a rather pricy bottle of wine which, to the horror of his fellow directors, he was at pains to point out. 
Was he a killjoy? Overly pedantic?  Depends how you view it. Getting away with a free bottle of plonk may be something of a coup for some folk, no matter if the hapless waiter lost his job.  But, would taking advantage of a simple human error have impressed the potential clients? And, let’s face it, what better qualification could there be for anyone in finance than sheer, straight-down-the-line, honest-to-goodness integrity? (Whether we see much of this virtue these days is another matter!)
Let’s look at the other side of the coin. For over a decade, an anaesthetist renowned for his pioneering pain relief fabricated research results which appeared in leading medical publications. But why compromise himself in this way?  According to a former editor of The New England Journal of Medicine, greed is certainly a factor:  “When researchers are beholden to [pharmaceutical] companies for much of their income, there is an incredible tendency to get results that are favourable to the company.”
Meanwhile, students are acquiring extra-curricular practices to ‘big up’ their skills. As highlighted by The New York Times, it seems many students will compromise ethics to achieve ambitions, intending to “follow a strict code of values” afterwards. For example, science students in Germany were discovered bribing their teachers in order to be recognised as Doctors.
Poor role models also play a part. Talking to The New York Times recently one professor states that high school students may be losing their moral compass: “It’s probably better to say that their teachers and mentors and the rest of society never helped them construct and internalize a moral compass in the first place.”
If supposedly respected individuals from government ministers to bishops fail to set a good example, little wonder younger people regard the rules as there to be broken, as demonstrated in a recent study. Out of nearly 30,000 students, 98 per cent believed honesty to be vital in personal relationships. Yet 8 out of 10 students said they’d lied to their parents, while 64 per cent admitted having cheated in an exam.
Be honest
Are you as trustworthy as you think you are? Ask yourself these questions:
·        You find a valuable piece of jewellery left on a washbasin in a public convenience. Would you hand it in at a police station or keep for yourself?
·        The cash machine is paying out more money than requested. Would you return the cash to the bank and report it, or go back for seconds?
·        At work or school, do you help yourself to pens, notepads and other stationery items to use at home, or do you ask permission first?
·        The newsagent gives you too much change. Do you take it back, or congratulate yourself on making a profit?
·        You’re out of work and claiming benefit. Then someone offers you £50 ($100) to paint their living room. Do you declare this to the benefit people, or keep it quiet?
·        Your boss asks you to lie about a product or service. Do you tell the truth and risk losing your job, or do you do as you are told?
·        You need to write an essay for college and time is running out. Do you find a piece online to copy and paste, or do you write the essay yourself even if it isn’t up to usual standard.

Sunday, 13 November 2016

Should Christians vote?

During the last UK election, some Church of England clergy got in a lather over comedian Russell Brand’s urgings for young people ‘not to vote’.

Lining up alongside the Archbishop of Canterbury, the Bishop of Norwich Graham Jones - who believes Christians ‘have a duty to vote’ - tried to counter the ‘profound effects’ of Russell’s comments. And of course, the church's views were endorsed by many of its followers who obediently formed an orderly queue at their local polling booths. 

Now, people of all religions (and none) have done the same in the US, with Evangelicals, Catholics and Protestants of every hue jostling to put their unholy crosses against their Chosen One - Clinton or Trump. We all know the result. Yet, the question is NOT why so many professed Christians helped Trump to triumph, but whether they should be voting AT ALL? Is getting involved with worldly politics consistent with Christ's teachings? 

If you really want the answer, check out Jesus’ own words at John 17:14, 16 and John 18:36, in which he makes it clear that nether he nor his followers were to be any part of the world. Indeed, Jesus had already showed his own determination to resist political involvement of any kind, refusing to become an earthly king as the crowds demanded  – John 6:15. And he identified the REAL ruler of this world in John 14:30.  (See also 1 John 5:19).

According to The History of the Christian Religion and Church, During the Three First Centuries – Augustus Neander (translated by H J Rose) “The Christians stood aloof and distinct from the state, as a priestly and spiritual race, and Christianity seemed able to influence civil life only in that manner which, it must be confessed, is the purest, by practically endeavouring to instil more and more of holy feeling into the citizens of the state.”

It was, in fact, their steadfast refusal to take part in military service or national politics which caused early Christians so much persecution from the State. In fact, many of Jesus' followers preferred to die in the Roman arena, facing lions or being burnt at the stake, than to lend their support to the government of the day. It was not until the 4th century, when pagan Rome assimilated Christian teachings, that faith in God's heavenly government - for which Jesus taught his followers to pray - became obscured and many forgot where their true loyalty should lie. (Matthew 6:10)

Friday, 11 November 2016

Do you believe in Santa Claus?

       Believe it or not, there are millions of people who don’t. Yet one 6-year old at our local primary school was almost lynched recently after telling his classmates there was no such person.  
       In the interests of inclusivity, the same school once tried to rename the seasonal celebrations as ‘Winterval’ only to meet with howls of disapproval from its nominally Christian parents. Despite their own pew-eschewing ways, they proved surprisingly touchy about this issue.
       So what is Christmas and why do people feel obliged to re-mortgage their homes to celebrate it? Why do harassed Mums (sorry, but it’s usually Mums) spend hours preparing food that doesn’t get eaten and buying gifts that nobody wants?
       Some people (surprisingly not as many as you might think) point to the birth of Jesus - surely the world’s longest surviving infant, confined as he is to a cradle year after year. There’s just one small problem with that; Jesus wasn’t born on the 25th December, not by a long chalk. Bible scholars have been unable to find the date of his birth in any of the gospels; however, as Jesus was 33½ years old when he died, he must have been born around October/November, which makes sense, considering the shepherds were still living outdoors at the time.

Why December 25th?

       According to The Encyclopedia Americana, this date may have been chosen “to correspond to pagan festivals that took place around the time of the winter solstice, when the days began to lengthen, to celebrate the ‘rebirth of the sun’.” This also corresponds with the Roman Saturnalia (a festival to Saturn, the god of agriculture, and to the renewed power of the sun) and “some Christmas customs are thought to be rooted in this ancient pagan celebration.”
       The New Catholic Encyclopedia gives further information on the December solstice when, “as the sun began to return to northern skies, the pagan devotees of Mithra celebrated the dies natalis Solis Invicti (birthday of the invincible sun).”

Three Kings or Magi

       The exact number of these visitors from the east is not known. What is known, however, is that they were astrologers and the ‘star’ didn’t lead them to Jesus as is often supposed, but to King Herod, alerting him to the Messiah’s birth with devastating consequences. Herod immediately ordered the deaths of all males born in Bethlehem during the previous 2 years.

Santa Claus
Santa has several alter egos. St Nicholas, Father Christmas, Knecht Ruprecht, the Magi, Jultomten (or Julenissen) the elf, and even a witch called La Befana have all been credited with bringing gifts to children. As none of these stories are true, does presenting them as such help children develop an appreciation for truth in later life?
       Christmas trees, mistletoe, Yule logs, puddings and other seasonal accessories all have roots in pagan practices – either to protect against evil spirits or to encourage fertility, growth and general good fortune for the coming year.  Whether you embrace them or dispense with them is, of course, a matter of personal choice.

        But next time that annoying child at school insists there’s no such thing as Santa Claus, please don’t be too hard on him.


Thursday, 27 October 2016

Cut those bullies down to size

       Think of a bully and you might picture a thick-necked yobo who’d last several rounds with Mohammed Ali in his heyday. But not all bullies use their fists. Truth be told, the typical bully relies on their tongue, using sarcasm, ridicule and insults to make their target feel small.
       They don’t even need to be in the same vicinity to threaten or upset their victims. Mobile phones and social network sites are rife with abusive messages and cruel jokes at other people’s expense – often sent anonymously.
       Age is no object, either. While still at primary school, Rebecca* received a nasty letter, full of lies and innuendo, supposedly sent by a fellow pupil who also received a similar letter, supposedly from Rebecca. Their parents took the letters to school where the form teacher recognised the handwriting as that of another pupil in the same class, who in turn had been pressured into writing it while her ‘friend’, an 8-year-old girl, told her exactly what to say. Cunning, manipulative and designed to cause the maximum distress.
       Gender doesn’t come into it, nor does class; a public school pupil has as much chance of being bullied and harassed as someone attending a local comprehensive. But just because a problem may be unavoidable doesn’t mean it can’t be solved.
       Let’s just examine one or two motives of a potential bully. Some who cause misery may not even mean to hurt their victims, viewing their taunts as simple banter or what passes for humour. This kind of behaviour is common in large families where children may compete to get a rise out of each other or even to gain attention from parents – even negative attention is better than none.
       Some people have been brought up to be plain spoken. The area where I was born can be a particularly challenging place to live for sensitive types, as many people pride themselves, not only on their gritty sense of humour but on being rude and overly free with blunt personal remarks. Whether any malice is intended or not, the best way to handle this situation is to simply laugh or shrug it off. This way, any unpleasantness is deflected, as the perpetrator realises his/her words have no effect. He or she may be testing you out, to ‘see what you’re made of’, and will soon tire of the game if you fail to play along.  On the other hand, trading insults will only make matters worse, like throwing petrol on a fire! Refuse to let the bully enrage you and the fire will just die out. You'll also prove to the bully that you're not influenced by anything they have to say - what he or she really wants is a reaction. Don't give them the satisfaction!  They're the ones who are pathetic, not you!
       Should the bully threaten to get physical, of course, the wisest course is simply to walk away - or run if necessary. And if, but only if, there’s no other way out, then of course you have the right to defend yourself as best you can. Yet, surprisingly, your most powerful weapon in almost any situation is ‘mildness’. Keeping your cool is always the best answer to a bully who will view your self-control as a sign of strength, while a kind word can literally stop them in their tracks. Remember, a bully may be frustrated, insecure and desperately unhappy, and the last thing they expect is for people to be nice to them. 
       Clever bullies are often quite intuitive about their intended victims; always seeking out the people they perceive to be weak, shy and easily intimidated.  That’s why it’s good to have ‘attitude’. People who seem poised, confident and assertive rarely get picked on - they’re more likely to stick up for themselves - so by cultivating a self-assured air you can deflect a lot of adverse attention. Basically, most bullies are cowards; preferring victims whom they feel would never fight back.
       Bear in mind that no one, no one has the right to harass you and make your life a misery. If you receive threats and ridicule on a regular basis, you should talk to your parents and listen to their advice. Other people you can turn to are teachers or counsellors, who are usually trained to deal with problems firmly and discreetly, with no comeback on you. Failing that, there are Helplines you can call, where experts can guide you through your problems.
       Some pupils, particularly girls may face sexual harassment, which is perhaps easier to avoid in advance rather than having to deal with when it arises. For instance, any form of flirting is not advisable, as your ‘admirer’ may get jump to the wrong conclusions. Nor should you hang around with girls who tend to be forward with the opposite sex, as you’ll be viewed in the same light. The way you dress may also be a factor - if you can see down it, up it or through it, then you’re bound to get noticed, for all the wrong reasons! How you dress is often how you get treated!
       Both genders can be targeted and propositioned, in which case a firm, direct and unequivocal ‘No’ should be your determined response. Giggling or simpering, even in embarrassment, can create a false impression. Make it clear from the start that you’re not interested and you’ll save yourself a lot of hassle.
       If, in spite of all objections, someone tries to touch you inappropriately, don’t be afraid to make a scene. Yell at your attacker; tell him not to touch you in that way and chances are he’ll be too embarrassed to continue, especially in front of his mates. Should he persist, walking or running away may be necessary and if that doesn’t work, a smart blow to anyone who grabs you should make your feelings clear!  And, same as with any other bully, you need to tell your parents!
       Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect. Be determined not to give into threats, crumple under ridicule or allow anyone to harass you. Before starting a fresh term at school, write down different scenarios which could apply to you. Then plan how you would deal with a given situation – what you could say, how you should conduct yourself and how to avoid the problem in the first place. Discuss your plans with your parents, ask their opinions and ask them to rehearse with you. That way, you can be prepared. 

How to protect yourself: 
  • Cultivate self-respect and show confidence and poise
  • Refuse to respond to taunts or ridicule
  • Exercise self-control
  • Be firm and direct and make your ‘No’ mean ‘No’
  • Avoid associating with people who court attentions from the opposite sex
  • Don’t wear revealing clothes which send the wrong signals
  • Tell someone – especially parents and guardians

* See also "How to Beat a Bully Without Using Your Fists"[search_id]=8a3fa79a-9b90-414d-b767-08f116828aaf&insight[search_result_index]=0

From Bullied to Brilliant by Karen Clarke